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Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Behavior, coaching, communication, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, fulfillment, Service, Wisdom

Gratitude is a state of mind when you allow it

Gratitude is a state of mind.     

Gratitude is not a natural state. Consider two toddlers in the same room with a fistful of goodies. Often, they will want what the other one has too! This description derives from a selfish desire for survival; it is hard-wired into us. Once we recognize the selfishness, then we can move in the direction of gratitude. It is one that we can aspire to because it changes the energy in our lives.
 
Today, and everyday, I celebrate the energy of gratitude. It is a state of mind that I cherish learned along my path to inner peace. I want to take a different tack to obtain gratitude, because once we claim the effort, it becomes part of us.

Here’s my point—

Predictably, we are entering the celebratory end of the year. There is so much hype, and it’s difficult to escape it—Santa in his new red Mercedes, for example! Why not spread the “hype” year round?

The good news is that gratitude is a year-round attitude. Since gratitude is a state of mind, I don’t just air it out at the year-end holiday times. I invoke it toward shifting my clients’ and personal views.

First, please allow me the assumption that energy vibrates throughout the universe, like microwaves and colors. Given that premise, gratitude is also a vibration. It is powerful, and can be magnetic. Like all things molecular, there are positive and negative charges to things. Although visually unseen, we can view the manifestation of gratitude. We know it when we see it! We recognize it in others, very different that the two toddlers previously mentioned.

In coaching, we often use perspectives as tools. When clients come to a session, they are in a perspective. Often, they need to shift to a different perspective to fully realize what they want or what action to take. It is magical because it works. Sometimes, changing a perspective is as simple as walking around your chair or sitting in a different position, or doing something out of your routine. Whatever the mechanics, gratitude works similarly.

Often, viewed in terms of blessings, gratitude is an awareness of one’s state of being, related to emotional intelligence (hyperlink). It can reflect what resources, conditions, feelings, and people are involved in our spheres. It marks our place in our universe. It can manifest in sharing and wanting to give from a spiritual or soul place of abundance (it’s difficult to give to another from scarcity.)

So, how can we actively invoke gratitude?

Many attribute gratitude to luck rather than reviewing the path of preparation and diligence of being prepared to receive and achieve. The power is in the actions we do toward our goals. That’s why I believe so much is said about the journey, not the destination! I’m grateful when I have the energy to see my actions through. It propels me further forward.

See how this “check in” works for you: Do you deserve things or do you earn them? How you answer can steer you toward feeling more gratitude.

When we don’t take things for granted or feel we are entitled, we have heightened awareness that the gratitude force is in our lives. It opens us to share, and makes room to receive more.

Learning how to experience more gratitude behooves us to pay attention. I find the little things can be filled with gratitude, stopping long enough to take it all in, and celebrating them. “Little things” are more abundant so they can raise our awareness more frequently. For example, going to the dog park with my beloved American Eskimo, Yukon,

is joyful for me. It is an actual feeling and brings me calm and serenity. I store it up for a time when I need it to remind myself of my blessings.

Gratitude is humbling, especially when we realize how precious life is. For me, I want to honor life and “show up” for my family, friends, clients, and strangers as my best self. That can be hard when a surly waitress comes to the table, for example. In such a case, I make an extra effort to understand she may have had a disastrous phone call or was up all night with a sick relative. Then, I shower her with kindness and call her by name. Amazing how this turns the energy of the situation around.

Gratitude is non-competitive

It thrives in abundance and never runs out. Exchanging one’s competitive drive to one of understanding and service works wonders! I only compete with myself to improve what I can be.

Often, gratitude is a compass.

When we are self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and understand the impact we have on others, gratitude can guide us to higher ground to be our higher selves. It opens doors and improves our likability factor! Not to be dismissed, our likability factor can be the difference between being hired, a photo finish in a race, or promotion in one’s career.

There is one requirement gratitude asks of us

We must stop swirling in our lives long enough to observe and to listen to the vibrations around us. Once we are still, the gratitude in our lives can manifest, and we can enjoy what it brings. 

Here is my gratitude mantra, my three gifts of gratitude: ( ♪♫ Sung to the tune of my favorite things!)

·      I am grateful for the blessing of a sharp mind and the ability to learn and share ideas with others.

·      I am grateful I can contribute to the world and my circle of influence.

·      I am grateful for the ability to engage in different perspectives when addressing issues and challenges while I seek solutions.

Joy to you all. —MC

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Decision making, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, planning, Strategic Plan, Strategy, Workplace

The Most Powerful Tool You Have Has No Dollar Cost

No matter what stage of business you are in, here is a new year’s resolution you can keep. This is my holiday gift to you.

Use a contrarian PERSPECTIVE!
Whatever you are doing now, turn it upside down.
This ACTION refreshes your mindset.

See a crowd? Run another way.

Imagine you are standing on a hill.  
View your business and the market from the highest point.
Describe how you can find your business from that spot.

Use the adverbs: why, when, what, how, and where to guide your plan.

Here are tips for doing a contrarian PERSPECTIVE:

Why are you doing this? Identify your purpose beyond making a profit or a name for yourself, and link all your steps back to your purpose.
 
When is everything in place to launch? Set a date.

What needs to change from what you’re already doing? Add on, remove something to preserve resources?

How to set it up with priorities?

Where to place it (your tools like signs, broadcasts.)? Placement is one of the core P’s of marketing!  Where can you start?

Keep moving. And, as actor Andy Garcia said, “You’re going to fall; just fall forward.” -MC


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Behavior, business coaching, communication, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Shared Leadership

Who motivates the motivator?

Who motivates the motivator?
Leadership is like that. Who does the leader follow to evolve into the optimum model to follow? 

Leadership must be renewed from within. It is like a muscle that must be worked to develop.

Consider playing a sport like tennis. A coach once encouraged me to experience playing against an opponent at least two “rungs” up from my level to improve my game. Easier said than done, I say! A special person, especially a company leader, has to possess several traits to combat ego issues. See if you agree with me:

Conscious competence—Great leaders select experts smarter and more informed than they are. They are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning. They are confident in their own skin that they are knowledgeable, yet they cannot know everything! They are self-referred and comfortable to know they have assembled the best team. This ability relates to control and trust issues, which is founded on insecurity.

Empathy—They need to understand and care about the people in their sphere is important to them.

Self awareness—This multidimensional leader is aware of short-comings as well as strengths. This trait is essential to emotional intelligence and assessing one’s position in the universe.

Courage to fail—It takes courage to risk one’s security and comfort to achieve an outcome. This is the discussion around “out-of-the-box” thinking and actions. Another perspective is to shift into curiosity mode and find out how parts fit together. This perspective allows space to explore and test different approaches. It is a way of eliminating obstacles by crossing them off the list of what has been tried.

Know it all—This omniscient leader has a blind spot that shines on the ego. It is a false premise to think one person holds all the answers, and that to ask for input or feedback somehow diminishes one’s credibility or stature and makes one weak. The hubris of this perspective is the undoing of many leaders and they don’t see it coming. Plus, adversaries see an opportunity in this warped thinking to feed misinformation or counterpoint with something the person does not know!

Humility—Robert Schuller said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking more of other people.” The ability to be humble opens a perspective of wide expanse. There are possibilities in humility and an openness to learn in service to others. Whether leading a large corporation, religious organization, or teaching a class, humility tracks back to being receptive to new ideas and a desire to know more.

The Model—One must be able to follow before becoming a great leader. The great leader uses all of the above traits to inspire confidence and emotion into people who perceive how their lives will be enhanced by connecting with this leader.

I would enjoy hearing your input, so please send your concepts of leadership directly to me. MC

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