Why Small Talk Gets Bad Rap

by Coachcubas

September 29, 2009

Anyone who “shows up” as a Thinker, Analytical or Problem Solver, this is for you. Chit chat or small talk is the bane of many people’s time. These are people who have not yet discovered the hidden gems embedded in the tiny conversation.

Consider these tiny conversation highlights:

1. They provide a tone of voice so that when you respond, you can echo back in kind. E.g. if someone speaks quickly, quicken your own pace when you speak. They are more likely to pay attention to you.

2. Non-verbal (body language) cues indicate mood of the speaker. If people move in closer to hear what you’re saying, they’re interested. If they quick glance away, they want to escape!

3. Word choice—Are they expressing or impressing? Verbal judo can be fun, but save it for when you know someone better. This can be perceived as “one-ups-manship” rather than your education. It can also be misconstrued as combative and confrontational . . . Just saying!

Tune in for more next time.

What are your observations about small talk?

What are your observations about small talk? Please post here.

Please Tweet http://twitter.com/coachcubas
Email: mcubas@positivepotentials.com
Post: http://www.linkedin.com/in/coachcubasmarketing (Group S.O.S)

http://feeds2.feedburner.com/blogspot/qDYb
c7e4232e6ad5e385652b43c83aeae033-1331863127

Coachcubas

As a credentialed business coach and analyst, one of my primary functions is to work with individuals and company managers to clarify where they are presently, where they would like to advance, and what tools they have and need to achieve their desired outcome.

I use a variety of tools to assess perceptions including Platinum Rule instruments, my experience and training in assessing behavior. My preferred tool is the EQ-i®, emotional intelligence inventory. I have specialized training on the EQ-i® and DISC Inventories and access to multiple other sources including a company culture index. I prefer the EQ-i® because it is the least judgmental instrument I have found. It focuses on strengths and areas of development related to the goals set by the individual. For example, people are more likely to apply the EQ-i®’s information rather than label themselves by the Myers-Briggs categories.