New Perspectives on How to Best Serve

by Coachcubas

April 18, 2012

A dear friend forwarded an inspirational article I’ve included in this entry. The theme enlivens and emphasizes how words matter and have different energies. Often, without being aware we diminish others with our good intentions. We may take power from them by implying they are weak and need help, or we may satisfy ourselves while we were intending to fix something for someone else. These outcomes can be reviewed in esoteric writings like the Kabbalah. Accordingly, the Universe is cause and effect, so when something creates imbalance, like the article reference, the entire system is thrown off balance. One such reference is called the Bread of Shame.

The Bread of Shame in essence is when one person always gives to someone and the someone perceives no way of repayment. Consider children who want to make a parent a card. That is their way to “pay it forward” on the care and attention they receive. They want to be part of the family unit and do what they see others doing. Another thought is a homeless person who turns around and offers selflessly to help others. The CNN Heroes Program has many examples of people who were in need then turned around to help others.

Along this line of thinking, at a seminar, I brought up a question as to the meaning of compromise. I drew a formula of: 1 + 1 = 1/2. With compromise, both sides left “hungry,” unsatisfied they had wholeness.
The flip side was agreement based on the cliché “Win-Win” that looked like 1 + 1 = 3.
Everyone left with more than they came in.
Which way do you prefer?

What are ways to serve?

Make your contribution anonymous so no ego energy becomes involved with the act.
As the author suggests, the service is feels like it is generated from outside oneself, while the fixer feels they are generating the energy. Join a community of like-minded people.
Offer what you can with no idea of receiving anything in return.
When you manage an employee, allow them to rise to their talents. Serve them with encouragement.
Parents can serve their children with creative space and stop hovering over them. The children’s beauty will emerge with enough comfort and safety like tending a plant.

Whatever your beliefs, we can all be more accurate in saying what we want to convey.

Todays’ Challenge: Where might we change meanings of help, fix & serve in our lives?
Please leave your comments.

PS—Too bad the presidential race doesn’t understand this type of thinking. From an esoteric perspective, they do not realize the giant circuit they create with negativity—it will only come back to short-circuit what they are doing. mc
DailyGood: Helping, Fixing or Serving?, by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD

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Coachcubas

As a credentialed business coach and analyst, one of my primary functions is to work with individuals and company managers to clarify where they are presently, where they would like to advance, and what tools they have and need to achieve their desired outcome.

I use a variety of tools to assess perceptions including Platinum Rule instruments, my experience and training in assessing behavior. My preferred tool is the EQ-i®, emotional intelligence inventory. I have specialized training on the EQ-i® and DISC Inventories and access to multiple other sources including a company culture index. I prefer the EQ-i® because it is the least judgmental instrument I have found. It focuses on strengths and areas of development related to the goals set by the individual. For example, people are more likely to apply the EQ-i®’s information rather than label themselves by the Myers-Briggs categories.