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Behavior, coaching, communication, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, fulfillment, Service, Wisdom

Gratitude is a state of mind when you allow it

Gratitude is a state of mind.     

Gratitude is not a natural state. Consider two toddlers in the same room with a fistful of goodies. Often, they will want what the other one has too! This description derives from a selfish desire for survival; it is hard-wired into us. Once we recognize the selfishness, then we can move in the direction of gratitude. It is one that we can aspire to because it changes the energy in our lives.
 
Today, and everyday, I celebrate the energy of gratitude. It is a state of mind that I cherish learned along my path to inner peace. I want to take a different tack to obtain gratitude, because once we claim the effort, it becomes part of us.

Here’s my point—

Predictably, we are entering the celebratory end of the year. There is so much hype, and it’s difficult to escape it—Santa in his new red Mercedes, for example! Why not spread the “hype” year round?

The good news is that gratitude is a year-round attitude. Since gratitude is a state of mind, I don’t just air it out at the year-end holiday times. I invoke it toward shifting my clients’ and personal views.

First, please allow me the assumption that energy vibrates throughout the universe, like microwaves and colors. Given that premise, gratitude is also a vibration. It is powerful, and can be magnetic. Like all things molecular, there are positive and negative charges to things. Although visually unseen, we can view the manifestation of gratitude. We know it when we see it! We recognize it in others, very different that the two toddlers previously mentioned.

In coaching, we often use perspectives as tools. When clients come to a session, they are in a perspective. Often, they need to shift to a different perspective to fully realize what they want or what action to take. It is magical because it works. Sometimes, changing a perspective is as simple as walking around your chair or sitting in a different position, or doing something out of your routine. Whatever the mechanics, gratitude works similarly.

Often, viewed in terms of blessings, gratitude is an awareness of one’s state of being, related to emotional intelligence (hyperlink). It can reflect what resources, conditions, feelings, and people are involved in our spheres. It marks our place in our universe. It can manifest in sharing and wanting to give from a spiritual or soul place of abundance (it’s difficult to give to another from scarcity.)

So, how can we actively invoke gratitude?

Many attribute gratitude to luck rather than reviewing the path of preparation and diligence of being prepared to receive and achieve. The power is in the actions we do toward our goals. That’s why I believe so much is said about the journey, not the destination! I’m grateful when I have the energy to see my actions through. It propels me further forward.

See how this “check in” works for you: Do you deserve things or do you earn them? How you answer can steer you toward feeling more gratitude.

When we don’t take things for granted or feel we are entitled, we have heightened awareness that the gratitude force is in our lives. It opens us to share, and makes room to receive more.

Learning how to experience more gratitude behooves us to pay attention. I find the little things can be filled with gratitude, stopping long enough to take it all in, and celebrating them. “Little things” are more abundant so they can raise our awareness more frequently. For example, going to the dog park with my beloved American Eskimo, Yukon,

is joyful for me. It is an actual feeling and brings me calm and serenity. I store it up for a time when I need it to remind myself of my blessings.

Gratitude is humbling, especially when we realize how precious life is. For me, I want to honor life and “show up” for my family, friends, clients, and strangers as my best self. That can be hard when a surly waitress comes to the table, for example. In such a case, I make an extra effort to understand she may have had a disastrous phone call or was up all night with a sick relative. Then, I shower her with kindness and call her by name. Amazing how this turns the energy of the situation around.

Gratitude is non-competitive

It thrives in abundance and never runs out. Exchanging one’s competitive drive to one of understanding and service works wonders! I only compete with myself to improve what I can be.

Often, gratitude is a compass.

When we are self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and understand the impact we have on others, gratitude can guide us to higher ground to be our higher selves. It opens doors and improves our likability factor! Not to be dismissed, our likability factor can be the difference between being hired, a photo finish in a race, or promotion in one’s career.

There is one requirement gratitude asks of us

We must stop swirling in our lives long enough to observe and to listen to the vibrations around us. Once we are still, the gratitude in our lives can manifest, and we can enjoy what it brings. 

Here is my gratitude mantra, my three gifts of gratitude: ( ♪♫ Sung to the tune of my favorite things!)

·      I am grateful for the blessing of a sharp mind and the ability to learn and share ideas with others.

·      I am grateful I can contribute to the world and my circle of influence.

·      I am grateful for the ability to engage in different perspectives when addressing issues and challenges while I seek solutions.

Joy to you all. —MC

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Action plan, business coaching, communication, Marketing, Strategy

What Is the Unicorn in your Business?

Once upon a time, there was a small business owner who thought magic would grow her business. Someone she trusted told him that he needed a unicorn, and all the pieces she needed would fall into place.

What is a unicorn?
I define it as a mythical, magical creature, attributed with magical powers. There may be some historical reference based on someone’s interpretation of something they couldn’t explain. When the interpretation fills, a story emerges. The details provide a context for a story that makes sense of what someone saw or perceived. For example, recently (February 2016) a new species of rhinoceros was discovered and called a unicorn. Most folks when asked think of a white Pegasus-like creature with a spiral horn on the forehead. Our image is a twist on the theme!

So, what’s the point?
Small business owners often chase unicorns in their businesses. They have heard about the features and wish they had one without really understanding their vision, what they will do with it, and the value of having it in their business.

Questions must be asked:
    •    Why is this important to me?
    •    What impact will capturing a unicorn have on my business?
    •    What is necessary to keep it happy and useful? (updates, resources)

For example, we can substitute the words technology or personnel for unicorn, yet the same questions must be asked to determine the value the “unicorn” adds to the business.

As a coach, I observe too many small business focused on things rather than advancing their leadership skills and developing their team members. They hear about something new and run out to buy it without asking the above questions.

Now, I advocate reasonable fantasy, which expounds on your vision, but chasing rainbows is a serious waste of resources (time, money, and quality standards).

There is only one antidote when bitten by a unicorn!
The only antidote for being “bitten by a unicorn” is a solid, detailed plan. Typically, called a business plan, writing out the key elements, that people need to know about your services or products, is a strong start—the purpose of the business (why you are in business), what is your promise, why you’re the one to deliver on it, and who else is already doing it, and what will be different about you doing it.

Embed continuous improvement as a value into all aspects of the business. Include the 3-Phase Loop—implement, monitor, and adjust within a set time frame.

When you answer these high-line ideas, add at least three detailed bullet points beneath each one.

Recognize that the marketing plan, 70% of a full business plan, drives the business. Too many people have ignored this truth and attempt to run a business without a solid marketing plan. All “moving parts” must be in place before opening the doors.

A Written Marketing Plan Will Reduce Anxiety

The essential step is to begin. Details and ideas will follow. Think big and in technicolor and the rest will follow. Capture it all, then prioritize what will provide the biggest revenue. Now, we have to reality test the idea. Pass out samples, ask what people like, what attracts their attention? Make any adjustments for improvement (these can be part of a Phase 2 launch of new products or services)

Log Unicorn Sightings!
Get a shoe box and every time you “see” a unicorn, put the idea on a sticky note and put it in the box. That way it will not be forgotten and you can review the contents quarterly to check if it is good timing
for it.

Useful Unicorn Tips:
I use Evernote (when you enter your email, Evernote links us a gives us both free services!) for this exercise. This is how I capture articles and pertinent research for my clients’ projects. Organizing data is easy and keeps everything in one place.

The voice memo app on my phone is useful. To add functionality, Dragon Dictate (free download in app store) transforms voice messages into editable text. What a time saver not having to transpose notes.

The unicorn image is also a way to remember to have fun and use your imagination to keep ideas flowing and us engaged in our work. Happy sitings! —MC

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Behavior, communication, cooperation, Decision making, Risk, Value, Wisdom

When did you last repair someone’s trust?

Confidential coaching positions me to bear witness to a myriad of circumstances. Within that context, I am asked many questions. How to repair trust is one that is poignant.

When trust is bruised or “killed”, there can be a physical feeling of an open wound. We can empathize with some who was betrayed. If remorse sets in, the betrayer also can experience the “wound.”

There are a few ways one can attempt to build trust. Ultimately, we can never account for someone else’s behavior or thinking, just our own. We must not allow others to define who we are and what we stand for. 

Yes, everyone makes mistakes. The gift that will emerge for you is awareness, because you are making an honest effort.

So, what can we do to begin a healing process for broken trust:

  1. Show up with a sincere, contrite apology. Sometimes a written one is powerful so the recipient has time to process it. In few words, be specific about what you are apologizing for, i.e. did you hurt someone’s feelings, was there a misunderstanding, did you strike out at someone?
  2. Own it, and learn from the circumstance no matter how painful. Analyze what you did and how you can avoid such behavior in the future.
  3. Back off. Give the recipient time to absorb your apology. 
  4. In the meantime, do what you say you will do. Talk is cheap.
  5. Actions speak louder than words, so make an effort to support the recipient by being present for him or her.
  6.  Be consistent with your renewed outreach. Be who you say you are.

Ultimately, the apology was delivered. After that, it is up to the injured party to invite you back into their lives. You’ll know. -MC



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