Gratitude is a state of mind.

Gratitude is not a natural state. Consider two toddlers in the same room with a fistful of goodies. Often, they will want what the other one has too! This description derives from a selfish desire for survival; it is hard-wired into us. Once we recognize the selfishness, then we can move in the direction of gratitude. It is one that we can aspire to because it changes the energy in our lives.

Today, and everyday, I celebrate the energy of gratitude. It is a state of mind that I cherish learned along my path to inner peace. I want to take a different tack to obtain gratitude, because once we claim the effort, it becomes part of us.

Here’s my point—

Predictably, we are entering the celebratory end of the year. There is so much hype, and it’s difficult to escape it—Santa in his new red Mercedes, for example! Why not spread the “hype” year round?

The good news is that gratitude is a year-round attitude. Since gratitude is a state of mind, I don’t just air it out at the year-end holiday times. I invoke it toward shifting my clients’ and personal views.

First, please allow me the assumption that energy vibrates throughout the universe, like microwaves and colors. Given that premise, gratitude is also a vibration. It is powerful, and can be magnetic. Like all things molecular, there are positive and negative charges to things. Although visually unseen, we can view the manifestation of gratitude. We know it when we see it! We recognize it in others, very different that the two toddlers previously mentioned.

In coaching, we often use perspectives as tools. When clients come to a session, they are in a perspective. Often, they need to shift to a different perspective to fully realize what they want or what action to take. It is magical because it works. Sometimes, changing a perspective is as simple as walking around your chair or sitting in a different position, or doing something out of your routine. Whatever the mechanics, gratitude works similarly.

Often, viewed in terms of blessings, gratitude is an awareness of one’s state of being, related to emotional intelligence (hyperlink). It can reflect what resources, conditions, feelings, and people are involved in our spheres. It marks our place in our universe. It can manifest in sharing and wanting to give from a spiritual or soul place of abundance (it’s difficult to give to another from scarcity.)

So, how can we actively invoke gratitude?

Many attribute gratitude to luck rather than reviewing the path of preparation and diligence of being prepared to receive and achieve. The power is in the actions we do toward our goals. That’s why I believe so much is said about the journey, not the destination! I’m grateful when I have the energy to see my actions through. It propels me further forward.

See how this “check in” works for you: Do you deserve things or do you earn them? How you answer can steer you toward feeling more gratitude.

When we don’t take things for granted or feel we are entitled, we have heightened awareness that the gratitude force is in our lives. It opens us to share, and makes room to receive more.

Learning how to experience more gratitude behooves us to pay attention. I find the little things can be filled with gratitude, stopping long enough to take it all in, and celebrating them. “Little things” are more abundant so they can raise our awareness more frequently. For example, going to the dog park with my beloved American Eskimo, Yukon,

is joyful for me. It is an actual feeling and brings me calm and serenity. I store it up for a time when I need it to remind myself of my blessings.

Gratitude is humbling, especially when we realize how precious life is. For me, I want to honor life and “show up” for my family, friends, clients, and strangers as my best self. That can be hard when a surly waitress comes to the table, for example. In such a case, I make an extra effort to understand she may have had a disastrous phone call or was up all night with a sick relative. Then, I shower her with kindness and call her by name. Amazing how this turns the energy of the situation around.

Gratitude is non-competitive

It thrives in abundance and never runs out. Exchanging one’s competitive drive to one of understanding and service works wonders! I only compete with myself to improve what I can be.

Often, gratitude is a compass.

When we are self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and understand the impact we have on others, gratitude can guide us to higher ground to be our higher selves. It opens doors and improves our likability factor! Not to be dismissed, our likability factor can be the difference between being hired, a photo finish in a race, or promotion in one’s career.

There is one requirement gratitude asks of us—

We must stop swirling in our lives long enough to observe and to listen to the vibrations around us. Once we are still, the gratitude in our lives can manifest, and we can enjoy what it brings.

Here is my gratitude mantra, my three gifts of gratitude: (♬ ♪♫♬ Sung to the tune of my favorite things!)

· I am grateful for the blessing of a sharp mind and the ability to learn and share ideas with others.

· I am grateful I can contribute to the world and my circle of influence.

· I am grateful for the ability to engage in different perspectives when addressing issues and challenges while I seek solutions.

Joy to you all. —MC

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by Coachcubas

Business Insights, coaching, Strategic Plan

How much time is wasted on worrying?

August 19, 2017

So, what’s the dragon “in your wallet?” Here’s the good news about worrying—it is your brain’s attempt to protect you.

The downside is that worrying creates anxiety. It is an emotional response to fear. It can be paralyzing and floods your thinking process so you are unable to make solid choices.

Knowing that, here are several ways to minimize worry:

Identify where the worry (floating anxiety) originates?
What is the immediate action you can take to minimize it? The antidote across the board is ACTION! Why?

For example, if you are concerned about accidents on a road trip, have your car checked in advance, like tire pressure and fluid levels. Just taking the action, is calming.

When you self-coach and take action, you change the perspective of the issue. It’s that simple. A coaching exercise is to see at least three perspectives, positive or negative, and then choose the one that serves you. This is a fun and revealing action to take with your team or family.

Ever had analysis paralysis—where you must make a decision and can’t or fear crawls all over you? Sometimes a grinding loop hijacks your brain and exhausts you. It sucks all your energy even when you want to make a change.
Take a deep breath.

Call out the feeling by name (I know that sounds weird but once you name it, you can start to manage it!) Self-talk is healthy. You hear the sound of your voice that overrides the sound of the little voice in your head. This is a useful tactic to overcome procrastination.
Once you raise your awareness of what’s going on, you can start to move forward. For example, when I start to clean out my desk drawers, I know I’m avoiding something. Identify what behavior is your “tell.”

Coaching can be a useful tool to fight the dragon of fear.

If the anxiety persists and deepens without signs of letting up, please see a health professional.

Please let me know your strategies for self-coaching.

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by Coachcubas

Action plan, coaching, Decision making, Performance

Live to Work or Work to live?

July 11, 2016

The old saying of “live to eat or eat to live”, attempts to temper our appetites. I contend we exchange the word “eat” for “work” to see where the American culture heads when it comes to work.

Pundits spew ideas about work-life-balance. I contend there is no balance, just choices. This idea relates to the work-a-holism that overtakes many—It is a national addiction!

After interacting with hundreds of people in my seminars and coaching practice, I find many people take pride in never taking a break. They wear their accumulated vacation days as a badge of honor.

I was mystified and had to research why. Based on my anecdotal “evidence”, here is what I think is going on:
1. People are afraid to stop long enough for a break because they will lose momentum and not want to return!

2. People are afraid of being replaced.

3. Someone will notice how well things are rolling without them, so they could be laid off.

4. Addiction to the process.

5. Wrapped an identity around their position.

6. It gives them personal power they may not have in their personal lives.

7. Think about those who eat lunch at their desks!

8. A need to be in perpetual motion so they don’t have to think about how things really are.

9. People leave, but are always checking in. This send a terrible message to team members that you don’t trust them or you are the only one with the answers. Parents often do this too.
10. Bloated sense of self-importance.

I once had someone say he was afraid to stop because he wasn’t sure he could resume his pace because he really did not enjoy his work.

The issue with all of the above is they are fear-based responses.

Instead of celebrating how well one has organized a project or department so that it functions while one is on vacation, the “nay sayers” remain on “watch.”

Simple Antidotes

· Laugh more . Watch funny movies.

An easy break can be simply leaving the scene for a lunch hour.

· A change of scenery does wonders for energy boosts. Get out in nature.

· Gazing at a photo or painting that reminds you of a happy time.

· When we can take a week or two, see it as reward for a job well done. Once our perspective is clear, the departure is much easier.

· Use the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” approach. Give your team time to miss you and appreciate what you bring to the team.

· Read something you have always wanted to instead of going to a movie.

When you give the company back your vacation days, that refund undermines the powerful benefit vacation can bring to your life. Consider why many companies have sabbaticals for extended periods of time after 10 years of service, for example. Research shows that performance is boosted upon return. The brain is clear and a fresh outlook can bring one’s work into sharper focus.

If you have a family, vacation days are precious links to reconnect with the family routine. It is a time to participate in the “little things” that mean the most.

Embrace the opportunities to share yourself with others. Provide quiet time for your self-reflection.

Reward is in the choosing. It is up to you. Make the choice to enjoy your reward. You’ve earned it!

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by Coachcubas

Gratitude is a state of mind when you allow it

Here’s my point—

How much time is wasted on worrying?

Live to Work or Work to live?

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